WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE STORY. AND A EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENS TO THE HUMAN CONCIOUS WHEN YOU HAVE TO WAIT UP TILL TWO IN THE MORNING TO WATCH YOUTUBE.
*2:15am*
I was sitting on my bed, watching Markiplier innocently. Enjoying life. When a spider spawns in the middle of the floor and charges straight for my bed. I notice the spider, and like the strong independent woman I am, I scream, grab “Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman” from my immediate bookshelf (for those of you who doesn’t know me, I have three, one for books, one for other books, and one for books I need to read right now), scream, “SAVE ME WALT!” and proceed to throw the book at the spider. The Terminator Spider serpentines my attack. I scream and jump onto the floor, grab my book and turn in time to see the spider dive under my bed and disappears from view. Having no other option, I slam one America’s greatest poets and slam it at my underbed shelf to kill the beast. That’s when I realized that , although Arnold SchwarzenSpider has won its mission. I would win the war. I run out of my room, grab air freshener from the bathroom, and spray a “Holy Spider Purification” ring around my bed. Unsafe in my own skin, I picked up my book and climbed back up onto my mattress, look towards my weapon and say “We’re on watch tonight Walt…O captain my captain…..”
Morale of the story?
The pen is not mightier then a sword. So sleep with a sword to kill spiders.